A very Merry Christmas from Jakarta, my world!
I was having a blast short break for Christmas, but it’s really worth-ed. My sister, her husband and baby Chloe came to Jakarta for their Christmas holiday. Such a very happy moments, since we (well, not me actually – cause I’ve been met them last August) haven’t seen to each other since 2 years ago. Everybody in my family is so eager to see baby Chloe and curious about her smile. And the result is, her smile really like a fresh tomato in the vast beautiful field. Comparing to others babies, also, she is a quite type, very charming and blissfully calm baby. Hahaha, I am a proud auntie.
As usual, we always have a prayer together in Christmas eve. We don’t make a big party. Just a party in our style. We had some cakes, chocolates and cokes. Which 3 days before Christmas, absolutely my new age as 30 year old girl (can I say girl? :P) happened. We celebrate my birthday by very classical and Indonesian way! A Durian party!! Fortunately, Greg – my brother in law, used to smell with Durian, he was not puke or hiding in the room. He tried even only 1 piece, hahaha…
The durians are so sweet, as I believe my days ahead will be sweet and memorable. Many asked to me, how do I feel as being 30? Ok, c’mon, some people say that number doesn’t matter, but actually indeed it is. As I look all my senior high school usually already have 1-3 children, what a life! I honestly, can not imagine myself having a baby (or even 3) and raising them with the very expensive pricey now in Jakarta. Daddy should be have a stable job and another side jobs I guess for comply the milk and meals needed by the children.
But for me, being 30 it’s not that bad (seriously!). It is really just a number. So I can tell to friends who ask me whether it is good being 30? I can sure them, yes, it is! But maybe it’s still depend on your understanding about yourself, your dreams, weaknesses and strength. For me, this new age is a chance for me for being better, for accomplish dreams that I have, for even creating new dreams to be reached and also to enjoying life to the fullest. Every each new days such a good lesson for me to know what I really wanna do, not just following the crowd or generally decide of something because everyone DO it. But I learn to sharp my strength and reduce my weakness. I am following my own soul and less concern to what people say and think. For some people, I might be, being careless, but actually, I am separating myself from negative minds and continue walk with positive head. I listen to my head and heart while following what my God says about me.
Now I see myself, as a complete single woman who doesn’t need anyone to make me happy. If on my way, there is someone who adding another smile on my face, there will be a bonus from God that will make my life happier, but apart of that, I really seriously enjoy every each step I make in this world.
As I look back my life for a while, I am so surprise with many things happen in 2012. In the prayer on Christmas eve, each of us, shared about what did we achieve in 2012, and what will we try to aim in 2013. The question struck me for a moment. I can’t count my blessing in 2012. Too much. Indeed there was some dark days exist in my journey, but I learn a lot from it, and those moments bring me to who I am now. Such a school, after passing one exam, you will get another level, a new grade. So I believe, those past such as treasures box for me to learn about life, and importantly about my self.
Also in 2012, many mistakes I made that probably hurt someone’s feeling. For this case, I did a lot hurting my sister and brother, since we are close to each other. End of year, just like now, really a good time to turn off the ego and turn on the humble heart, forgive and being forgiven. As the youngest from 6, I do realize my ego and selfishness sometimes ruining others life, so I wish the same forgiven made from my sister and brother for me, as I am not perfect, nor do them.
Freedom always emerge when the truth is revealed, when the communication is working and a humble heart is ready. For Greg and Murni, it might be an awkward family party, but for us, sharing and being honest to each other is more important than a DJ party with loud music in Christmas eve.
This birthday and Christmas was another event without our dad. After 4 years left us, he is still in our heart as fresh as he is here in the earth.
In the end of the prayer and sharing session, we were together singing the song, my dad’s fave song. Indeed this is a like a pray for us, and teach us to be grateful whatever might happen in the future. I feel like my mom and dad in heaven look to us here and being proud, proud cause they can assure theirself we are love to each other here, proud cause now we are growing each other following our dreams, a dream that once ever be their dreams, a dream that once ever talked together.
I am proud daughter, proud sister, and I am proud having my family.
Merry Christmas!! (C’mon, it’s not Xmas – once more)
(Bahasa – Indonesia Language)
T’lah Kau tetapkan
Hidupku dalam tanganMu
Dalam rencanaMu Tuhan
T’lah Kau siapkan
Bagi masa depanku
Yang penuh harapan
S’mua baik, s’mua baik
Apa yang t’lah Kau perbuat
Di dalam hidupku
S’mua baik, sungguh teramat baik
Kau jadikan hidupku berarti.
From the beginning
You have set
My life is in your hands
In God’s plan
You have prepare
For my future
A hopeful life
All is good, all is good
What have you do
In my life
All is good, very good indeed
You make my life meaningful.