“Confidence is the key, if you don’t believe in yourself, then nobody will.”
A friend of mine suddenly wrote an email, shyly he asked me “how to be a confident person?” – I don’t know why he asked me instead of many friends he has. But, maybe, just maybe, he sees me as a cheerful person (Indeed I am), I am easy making friends because if human can be categorized, I will put in “Extrovert person category”. I like to be open up with my feeling, emotions that I feel, ideas that I have, I like to show it to the world, so probably if you see me now as Dea, it’s the same Dea as another person see in different time or condition. I don’t like to hide my life, or making story to cover it as beautiful life in front of people, for me, being honest is easier than being fake and should behave differently in so many different situation and different people. If a person think I am talk active, yes, indeed I am. If a person think I am stubborn, oh heaven, indeed I am too :D.
Back to my friend question, I think for a while then reply him;
“The important thing for being a confident person is you need to be enjoy being yourself first.” That’s the key as I conclude from my life experience as a girl in 30 y’old life.
Many times I meet the situation when I need to be expected meeting with people that higher position than me. Look so glamor than me. Talk very smart than me. Sound very classy than me. And beautifully and handsome than me. Those people sometimes look like a wolf and easy to bite or scar my face. But rather than being quite in the corner, I need to face the situation, greet them, and enjoy the situation. While they asked me to talk, I will talk politely, I make a joke, I smile with them, I asked their name, they asked my name, exchanging business card, continue with short story about general business we are in, then if we are lucky and find it is a good conversation, we continue it to a private conversation (read : deeper than generally question as “How’s the weather?”).
It doesn’t mean I am the best of being a confidence person. Oh No. No. No. I still learn tho’. Many times I face the situation that push me to meet with many people or in a meeting that I feel like I am in the wrong dress-code. I feel so little and wanna run away, or jump from the high 30 level of building. But of course I didn’t do that. Instead of being run away. Smile is the best way to cover your nerves. So good that I have a boss that push me to be in different meeting with different kind of situation and people. My boss always taught me to “keep the relationship,” “networking is important” and “maintaining what you have now.” Networking either can bring you to a new life, new point of view, new experience or new community. But it’s always make your life wider and bigger. So that’s true, networking is important and actually easy to build, difficult to maintain.
Why I said that being confidence is having close connection with “enjoying yourself first”. This is the key I make for my self. Everyday I wake up, I see the mirror and I check I still have eyes, nose, lips, hair, face, ears, even acne, hahaha. I see my self as a perfect person. A complete one. I feel grateful for my life and health then I say ; “I am good. I am perfect. I am precious and I can do it today in excellence way.” No matter bad situations I have, when I feel ok about my self and being grateful with life I have, I feel ok. Ok to go out from home. Ok to meet new people. Ok to face problems at the office. Ok to eat good food. Ok to listen songs while enjoying the Jakarta’s traffic. Ok to writing another articles for my blog. Ok to live. Ok to smile. Everytime you think and talk positive about yourself, you drag your brain to be happy and your happiness can show up easily through your behavior. Normally, if you feel ok with your self, you will see other people as “a human too”, not a giant monster who will eat you up when you greet them, or a wolf that want to bite your flesh each time to asked his name and want to start a conversation. You can be confidence person when you enjoy being of yourself.
Thing is, many people think that communication ability is only have by certain people. I thought that’s wrong. As the old statement said that : “You can do something because you used to do it.” So the mindset that saying : “I’m not that kind of person who can able to make first conversation or making a line,” I will say, “You need to try, over and over again. And when you already conquer your nerve, those things are easy as you drink a water.” Indeed, finding a topic for first conversation is difficult, you need to be wise for not dragging a sensitive subject such as religion, age or politic. Know what kind of person you have conversation with first, then flow on it by general topics that pop up on your mind. For that, you need to follow the news, look what’s new or hot in the world, read, and fill up your brain with things, then you can able to collect topics, many. After that, you need to sharply your confidence as much as you can. Indeed, confidence is something that you have to workout like a muscle.
The last thing I need to underline for being a confidence person, is Smile. No matter how bad your mood is, or how bad your hair is, or how those acne make you uneasy for today’s performance. Your sweet smile always can conquer the negative aura and make someone want to greet you first. And voila, let’s flow with that connection.
“Confidence is not being proud about yourself, it’s about believing in yourself”