Oh, I haven’t wrote again in some few days. The busy days on my birthday, Christmas and now, preparing for New Year’s Eve grabbed my attention and make me a bit lazy to writing. But here I am now, I think I have some few times to write down what’s on my mind now.
It’s 27 of December 2013. Exactly in another 4 days, we will go together to the new year, the year of 2014. It’s like a miracle for me, an amazing situation. For some people, maybe they think it’s just a normal thing to do. For me, it’s not. There are many chances to make me already disappeared from this world but instead, I still have this opportunity for breathing freely from my lungs, that’s mean, my business in this world not finished yet and I am glad with it.
As my faithful readers probably will notice, that I am so terribly exciting for the month of December. All of my life, I always in love with this month. Maybe because of the rainy season, maybe because I am a romantic person, maybe because of the Christmas atmosphere, maybe because I am one of the December babies, anyway, with all these reasons, for me personally, December it’s special month. Even to be honest, December is not only brought me some good rainbows, it’s also bring the streams of sorrow, dark side, but still, December is my good month, it’s special for me, as I know intuitively that something “special” will be happened this month.
That’s true. Beyond my imagination, I have experienced good and bad things this month. I may feel so exhausted in one side, but there were also so many beautiful things to be grateful for. My family and friends who stay beside me and cheering me up really such a treasure in my life. Hundreds of birthday wishes from people around the world really made my day and feel special. I can honestly admit that beautiful words from people to me, really make my feeling, and I like it! I know how it feels. That’s why, I also love to give sweet words to people and make them feel better through the only thing that I am able to give, through my words. It’s not only about “pretending to be nice,” not at all, I am a person who doesn’t want to do something that against my feeling. But by doing and trying to be nice and encourage people, indirectly, it also helps me to gain happiness and good thought about myself and my life. And just like an infected diseases, happiness also can be spread in a good way. I always think if we can make people feel good about themselves and life, why should we make them feel bad about it?
But I am a normal person. I have my own fears. I am not a robot. Instead, I am a person who think too much, too much analyze things, those who really close to me already knew my weakness and always alert me to not make everything becomes so difficult by thinking too much in the beginning. So, I have this fears. A fear for 2014 that already close in front of my eyes. Only 4 days more and we will continue from January to February to March and so on and so on until (if we are allowed) reaching December again. My fears are not merely concern about life or stuff, but more about stagnation. I hate stagnation. I always try to thrive myself to move forward, to gain more, to do things, to live this life to the fullest. I am afraid that I get stagnant in my career or in my dreams or in my love life or in my ambition. I need a moving wheel to keep me continue the journey. I am afraid, instead having a life that I am imagine, I am stuck in here, in my own shell and the hazy city.
These few days, I like to listen to Mum, their music, The Land between Solar System becomes my fave one. An old friend told me about this music and some how, it gives a calm feeling while I am thinking what will I do in 2014. I have some “real” resolutions that I wanna aim on my mind right now, some travel plans and strategy to listen to my own soul more, love myself more and do my best. But the scare still caught my mind like a black crow, it’s like teasing me to worry and doubting about my own future. Oh well, I can’t see my future, but I can imagine and picturing myself in what picture I want to be in the future, I have that in mind, but to be honest, that’s true, I can’t see the future at all.
Jim Morrison said, “Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” I think that’s a good advise for me (or you) right now. Instead of bragging about what the future may looks, I better to push the fear until it can’t be feel anymore and I am free, free for being myself, free for thinking about my own life, free for doing what I wanna do and free to dream a big more.
Now I say, let’s celebrate the (soon) new year together and be thankful for what 2013 already taught us. Let’s be exciting with 2014 and what they had in store for us. Let’s say to another days that we are ready to explore its and don’t forget to do our best in the present days. Let’s face 2014 with lots of faith of something wonderful about to happen, maybe not now, but eventually. The right thing to do for stepping the new year is to letting go the past, the bad stuff that held us down and set our mind in positive thought about what will be happened next, in another days, in another tomorrow.
I think, we should have this attitude, if we can able to wake up in the morning, able to open our eyes, using our ears to listen the sound of morning, feel the blood flows in our veins, moving our fingers and do stuff with it, walk firmly with our strong feet, that’s mean, we gain another chance to live our life to the fullest, to do what we wanna do, to have another dream and work on it, to explore the world and the most important thing, to explore ourselves. To love a bit more, to hug a bit more, to be crazy and wild a bit more, to be curious a bit more, to be fit a bit more and to be loved by people around us.
Let me ending this writing by quoting what Mahatma Gandhi says, “Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
So Happy (soon) New Year 2014, precious people!