A Divine Love

Hey Love, how are you? I hope you are good today and be happy.


No no, I haven’t found my love yet. My new love I mean, hehe. But it is really nice to greet your future love even you haven’t seen it, right? I have that habit to see in the mirror, and suddenly talking to myself – and sometimes, talking to my future love.

I am a believer of a story in Japanese comic book about the red ribbon that connected one soul to another, make them as a soulmate. If you love Japanese books, you might know what I mean. Or it might be too girly for some people. But anyway, indeed, I am girly 😉

Only the question came, once when I found that red ribbon, why suddenly it breaks again and left me alone? The chance is, probably the person who I thought was my another side of red ribbon, actually he’s not my soulmate.


Anyway, I saw a Christian book in my rack since years ago. I once bought it in hope to get a new understanding about love and relationship. I read and read then I got bored in the middle of book. This book seems so useless, doesn’t make sense and not updating with our young modern life.

I was thinking, as Christian, this book is too much. I know the good side of such some certain rules is to prevent our heart for being painful, but I think no normal human can read and accept it in reality. No one can applied it for real in daily life. Yes we want a holy love, we want a strong love, but sometimes I wanna scream, can you just be real? We are just human after all.

So I gave up this book.


Then I continuously doing the relationship as how I knew it. I learned from my experience how to treat someone and build the relationship and I did it the same. So far, I thought that I done good deeds, even in my relationship. I was doing my best. And I want to believe that all my previous partners also did their best to me. But life has another fate for us.

One fine afternoon, my hands reaching that book again and start to re-read it.


 They said, rejection is to bring us to the right path.


I wish it’s right.

Because I’d been a lot in rejection and I was almost not even have a courage to believe in love again. But I can’t lie to my heart. I am always that hopeless romantic. Always believe how love is worth to fight for. I don’t want to have a bitter heart or a cold heart and not believe in love. When something is not working as how the way we want, I don’t want to blame it to love. I believe love is a beautiful thing that can be happened between human’s heart. I believe love will find me somewhere, maybe not here, but one day, it will cross my path again.


But I want a divine love.

Not the kind of love that make me confusing with all such certain strict rules, but also not a love that full of lust and temporary feeling.

The book reminds me, that divine love is a something beyond human’s love.

For sure if you want to be with someone in a long time, accepting all his/her flaws in very looong time, you can’t use your own love. You need a grace. You need love beyond your human’s love. You need divine love.

In my understanding, it’s a selfless love. A selfless love that wasn’t come in the sake of trying. In the sake of short relationship for experiment only. I might be too old for that game, haha. But who am I if I put love as a game? It is a pure thing, a genuine stuff, a sacred feeling that should be treat seriously and carefully. A divine love. I am a person who really respect love and always do what I could to fight for the love I have. Until I can’t fight for it anymore because the situation forced me to stop. I have my own standards of boundaries that I will never cross.


This morning I touched by Ed Sheeran’s song, Thinking Out Loud. The lyric is so sweet, the music is smooth and the video clip is really beautiful. I believe, it’s an extraordinary song. A song that always give you a feeling of fondness…


When your legs don’t work like they used to before
And I can’t sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

And, darling, I will be loving you ’til we’re 70
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I’m thinking ’bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Well, me—I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am

So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I’m thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are

When my hair’s all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don’t remember my name
When my hands don’t play the strings the same way
I know you will still love me the same

‘Cause honey your soul could never grow old, it’s evergreen
And, baby, your smile’s forever in my mind and memory
I’m thinking ’bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it’s all part of a plan
Well, I’ll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you’ll understand

But, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
Thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are

So, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Oh, darling, place your head on my beating heart
I’m thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are
Oh, baby, we found love right where we are
And we found love right where we are


Maybe because I am too hopeless romantic and treat love with full of respect, some guys can’t handle it. Which is ok. I wouldn’t low my romance to satisfy some men. I want to believe in love, no matter how modern life think that love is suck, difficult to understand, fake and use for manipulation. For me love is the most beautiful thing that can happened to my life. Love is not lust and love is not counted by sex merely. Love is deeper than that. Love is not about perfection or being perfect. Instead, Love is knowing soberly that the other person can have an access to wound me, but I still give him a key because hiding it isn’t the right answer. Love is to being open with our weakness and let the other side make us questioning about everything we believe. Not to make us down, but to make us better. Love is to lost myself selfless and found it again. And I am glad that I always brave enough to love with all the consequences follows.


And if you don’t have the same value as mine, it’s ok. Because I wouldn’t force you to have mine, as I will never able to force you to believe in love. It should be yourself first to believe in it then you can start loving someone dearly with all the consequences…


So dear divine love, find me and I will find you.




“But love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice, or a dozen times in our life, we always face a brand-new situation. Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere. We simply have to accept it, because it is what nourishes our existence. If we reject it, we die of hunger, because we lack the courage to stretch out a hand and pluck the fruit from the branches of the tree of life. We have to take love where we find it, even if that means hours, days, weeks of disappointment and sadness.

The moment we begin to seek love, love begins to seek us. And to save us.” – Paulo Coelho, By the river of Piedra, I sat down and wept.

001-A Divine Love -DeaSihotangJust don’t give up with love…




Dea Sihotang




  1. You shouldn’t give up. Love is a beautiful thing 🙂 It might be bad one time, two times, three times, but I am sure it won’t be bad always, if we believe in good things, good things will happen. The law of attraction 😉 So if we believe in love, love will come to us and free us *see how hopeless romantic I am lol 😛

    Liked by 1 person

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