Why Does Shit Happen?

Today is really the worse day for me. Waking up with such a headache, and I need to fix everything before my flight to Bali. Last night I already booked an one way ticket to the gods island. Thing that everyone should be happy to do. Especially if someone decide to stay long in such beautiful island. I should be happy too. I know. But the pressure and situations lately really pushed me to my nerves. I feel panic and more than that. I feel breathless.

 

Started by a call that completely ruin my day. A call from a lady that working for a place to repair my external harddisk. Yes, my external harddisk is broken since few months ago. And what make it so bad because exactly before it broke, I decided to put all photos – my traveling photos into one external harddisk. I thought it make everything neat and organize. Guess what? Later on, the harddisk which is having all my traveling pictures is broken! Shit!!!

 

First time I went to data recovery place in Ratu Plaza and he said, I need to pay 2 millions. Man! 2 millions rupiah for recovering data only? Come on! Even the piece is worth half than it. I said, No, thank you, I am gonna think about it again. I felt so nerve because I just finished one draft of horror novel that I want to send to my editor. Now, it is broken! With a chance it to be gone. Shit!

 

Yesterday, again I tried to go to data recovery place in Mall Ambassador. Hope that it was only a nightmare and everything is going to be alright. After talking with people, finally I know the good place to bring my external harddisk. A lady asked what I need, and I tell her about my problem She said, well, we will check it first, you only need to pay 15,000 idr for checking. Hey, cheap one! Last place I went, he asked me 100,000 idr for checking only! So, positive vibe appeared. Later after few minutes waiting, she told me that they can fix the external harddisk and cost me around 800,000 idr. Woooow! Still a lot of money, but 1,200,000 less than the first place I went. So I said yes, please fix my external harddisk.

 

I think I can breathe again.

 

Until she rang my phone and told me, “Sorry this is more than 800,000 idr cause your head machine is already broken and we need to take the data each by each with special machine blabalbalalaaa…” Then, how much is it? I asked to her. Preparing myself for the big amount she will say. But honestly, I wasn’t able to prepare enough. Especially when she said… “It cost 4 – 4,5 million rupiah.” I said, ‘WHATTT???” The external harddisk itself only cost 1 million rupiah. This is crazy!

 

Then I tried to think the worse thing probably happened, that I have no enough money to repair the harddisk. I asked some of my friends who ever had pictures with me. One of that including my ex boyfriend. Only to make my day became more worse. Instead of trying to help me, he ignored my message and later only say, “whatever, good luck.” And he has all the pictures when we’d been to South Sulawesi together. Later, we just fight again.. BLAH @$&^*&*))))!!@%$^

 

Just like my day isn’t bad yet. Suddenly, an email appear to my phone. Lion Air changed my flight from Saturday evening – means 2 days more, to Sunday morning. Whoooaaaaa!! I can’t help it. It really makes me want to scream. Why it bring such a huge effect. Cause Sunday morning, I already agreed to go to Amed with my friend and some people in Bali. @^&^*&(*___((*(*)&)&(&!!!

 

I feel so headache and want to cry. In fact, I cried while I am writing this. Emotionally f**ked up plus big bang in my head. I wanna go home.

 

Home, that will be such a good place to be for me, but will be in such a mess tonight, cause I need to prepare some stuff for immediate photo session opportunity for Aradeyata tomorrow morning. Which I really so happy for that. But, I haven’t packed my stuff yet to Bali! ~ So it’s like another pressure.. fiuuuhh…

 

Good God, why shit happens? I don’t know.

I only know, I am so breathless now.

I need to breathe and think it clearly. As Dion, my friend said, “Go fix all your problems one by one and just come to Bali and do what you want to do here.” Sound good right? And, yeah… right. Exactly what I should do. But, I feel so weak now. I feel like all those burdens are in my shoulder. Not only one, not only two, but like a bunch of problems in a row asking for my attention.

 

Ah yes, I forget to mention that my camera also broken. But this is a different story. Even I felt so suck to know that it isn’t working well. But I feel grateful that the situation made me meet with Ko’ Jeffrey – the guy who will fix my camera ; and with him, I had such a good conversation about photo and more than that, about life too… Just hoping that no more trouble from the camera.

 

Another attention needed when my “company” Blackberry suddenly also broken. Many times, it is only appeared to be “Insert Sim Card” on the screen. BLEH.. And I need to return it to the company before I go to Bali. And I also need to re-register about my Simpati & Three simcard, because I lost it on my way to Bukit Lawang, Medan. In hurry, I need to go to one place for handling my Simpati card and to this mall, where there is Three store. Lalalalaaa (singing in exhausted).

 

Duh dear God… I wanna go home.

And sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

But I try to sit down now. Taking my inhale and exhale breathing and trying to be calm.

 

To make today feel more positive for me… I try to remember all little things that make me smile today – even during all troubles..

 

For example, the waiter’s smile that served me delicious Kwetiau Siram Sapi, she didn’t say anything about my messy face, and I thank her for that (I think she knows that I just crying!)…

A free mineral water that I got from my former company car that brought me to this mall, the place where I write the article…

A kind help of Workaway account from my friend. He let me use his account to find a volunteering place later, because he isn’t using it…

A new lipgloss that I bought to make me happy – and also because I need it..

A 50% discount for Bodyshop powder, yayy, so happy that I got a discount for this expensive powder!…

A nice fact I found today, that I don’t need to wait until 5 years as BPJS Ketenagakerjaan member, to cash the money in it…

A message from a friend in Bali, that make me think to stop focusing on this problem and stop being dramatic, but start to fix it one by one.. (and rather being sad, I am writing this..)

Just as the universe wants to make me more happy, suddenly I got a What’s App message from a friend in Holland, that give me a gospel song… Really help me calm in time in need…

And last, another message from a friend in Paris, that told me that he still have some pictures of me in Paris, so he will send it to me all those pictures…

This things help me to put my feet together again and learn to be positive again… Let me learn to understand, why shit happens… Even I still don’t know the answer, but at least, I need to face all of it, learn from it and try harder to not make the same shit happening again in my life.

 

xoxo,

Dea

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