There are so many times we want to achieve big thing, but we forget that BIG things are made from small things, doing it faithfully with a huge consistency, before it finally becomes BIG.
I am so frustrated this afternoon that force me to grab my phone and tell my feeling to a friend. Luckily that he was able to spend time to listening to my emotional words and tell me the exact thing that I should do. “You are a writer, put your feelings on paper,” he said. So excuse me for being OOT from the latest topic about my travel stories today.
I am a person who always want to do something and feel productive. Just sitting on my ass every day is not something that I wish to do when I opened up my eyes in the morning. I want to have a meaning in life, and more than that, I want to become useful to other people every day. I want to make something, create something and do it all happily.
Lately I do a volunteering project during my overland trip in East Nusa Tenggara. I would like to finish the list as the planned already made before, because I also want to continue my journey. But the most important thing because I already promised to finish the project, and promise is a BIG thing for me. I already campaigned about the project and promise to public that I will publish some more update about it. Only too bad, that my movement cannot be so free as how I expect it to be. Some days I feel paralyzed here and unproductive.
The purpose of working as a team is to make things easily done in a short period. But now, mostly I need to wait for the other side, whether they already ready to make another move or not. Most of the time, I need to wait, wait and wait. And my nature is dislike the uncertain situation. There are so many times when I can’t stand on uncertainty and need to walk away when I finally realized there is no use to keep myself stuck in a situation which leads to nothing.
Basically, I want to know my target, stick to the plan and do it until it is finished. An uncertain situation, especially when I need to dependent to something/someone to make things done, really frustrating me. Especially if something/someone that I am waiting for is doing their job based on how good their mood is. Once we agreed to do something and have some list to do, keep doing it, is a-have-to-do action all mature people need to take. No matter how bad or good our mood is, when we make a promise, especially if the promise is to make a program that affected another human being, we should have consistency to do it. No matter whether we want it or not.
I am not used to give up easily or to leave something I do in half way. I can say that I am also not a spoiled kid who wants everything to be perfect first before doing my best to make it works. Once I said I am agree to do something, I will do it wholeheartedly. So it is really annoyed me if my partner or people who I work with not having the same vision and consistency as I have. No matter how good a project is, how beautiful the target is, if there is no sacrifice and no effort to do it in form of a commitment and consistency, the project will never be done. Procrastinating is not something that we can bragging about. We can be happy when we finally did what we commit to do. When all already finished and the result is there, that’s the right time to be proud with all the hard work and sacrifice we gave to make it done.
My friend reminded me to keep doing what I need to do here. The own-goal I had while doing the overland trip and stop in this island. One of the aim is to write about the trip in East Nusa Tenggara, another beautiful gem in Indonesia that most of the time missed from the public attention. My goal is to let people outside either in Indonesia or abroad, knowing more about this area.
“Chill out, plan the shots, just be ready…
Put on your big pants and get busy.
Go big or go home, Dea.
Don’t forget babe, travel is supposed to be fun, if you wanna be stressed and worried, get back to Jakarta.”
He really knows that I don’t want to go back to Jakarta that soon, hear about that city’s name again whip myself to go back to do my own dreams. It had made my mind wide opened that I should never let anyone or anything stop me from doing what I want to do. True I will keep doing my stuff, spread the beauty of East Nusa Tenggara through my own way, either by my writing and photos – no matter how less of technology I have now.
“Until you learn how to commit yourself to the idea you have and build consistency on it, nothing will be done. No matter how good you are at it. The key is to be faithful in small things. To keep doing what you have to do when it’s tough, not only when it’s easy.” – Dea Sihotang